THINGS I DISLIKE

A friend asked me what some of my 'pet peeves' were. Aside from the actual phrase "pet peeve," several things came to mind. Here is a non-exhaustive list.  

 

The phrase "creature comforts."

Dust.

Hipsters.

Salad dressing.

Things that require small fingers.

Wedding hashtags.

Valentine's Day.

Soccer moms.

Loose hems.

Uncomfortable bedsheets.

Prague.

The letter 'e.'

Bad grammar.

Most poetry.

All poets.

Holes in socks.

Radio DJs.

The way late-night romance request DJs are always named 'Delilah.'

The way white people have suburbanized and sterilized formerly-cool names like 'Hunter.'

Americans on vacation in foreign countries.

Acid wash jeans.

Firework bans.

Fixed-gear bikes.

Peach fuzz (on peaches).

Bands on MySpace.

"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" (film, not book).

Girls' night out.

Bottle service.

Leg cramps when I'm swimming.

Wind.

Toothpaste left either in a sink basin or wiped on a towel.

Imperial units.

Old men in saunas.

Hyphens instead of periods in phone numbers.

Razorburn.

Cuticles.

Rhythm guitarists.

"Deck The Halls" by Mannheim Steamroller.

Oxymorons like 'scented deodorant.'

The way NOBODY eats at Red Lobster, but they're still everywhere.

Mid-size cities like St. Louis and Chattanooga.

Fantasy sports leagues and the surrounding culture.

Broken umbrellas.

Dance clubs that require dress shoes.

People that leave phone numbers too fast and really late in a voicemail.

Braces.

Malls.

Nickels.

Being tall and trying to use airplane lavatories.

Paula Dean / Guy Fieri.

Hallmark movies.

Cliché costume party themes (e.g. golf pros and tennis hoes).

Pleated pants.

Target employee uniforms (khaki and red are awful together).

Smoker's breath.

Foreman grills.

Boston Red Sox.

Porsches and Jaguars.

Having to iron clothes.

Broken vacuums.

White dogs with really pink-looking faces.

Slobber.

Freezerburn.

Coffee culture.

The 70's.